I have said it over and over. The way to attract women is by having confidence. But how do you gain confidence if you simply do not have it yet?
Start by valuing your own time.
Here’s how it goes.
- Confidence comes from having good self esteem.
- Self esteem comes from valuing yourself due to your positive actions and outcomes.
- Your decisions lead you to these good outcomes and actions.
- Your values set the basis for your decisions.
- Your moral compass guides your values that lead to your decision making.
- Your deep inner soul tells you what your morals are in order to form all your outer workings.
There. Easy right?
Start with a good soul and your all set. What? You don’t have a good soul? You are a soulless bastard with no intrinsic value to humankind?!? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I know you have a decent soul. Otherwise you would not be on the path of self improvement and enlightenment.
If you are a soulless bastard with narcissistic sociopathic tendencies only looking for a quick way to manipulate women in to doing your bidding, stop reading now. My stuff is not for you. You know who you are…
For the rest of ya, I am going to unlock a quick bit of info to help you get to the top of this confidence breakdown.
Start by valuing your own time!
Most guys tend to lose confidence (and respect in their women’s eyes) when they stop valuing themselves, whether they know it or not. It can happen at any time in a relationship, and it can keep you from ever getting in to one.
If you are single and hunting for a great woman, you may be coming at it from a “needy” place. I know I did for a time. It was not attractive and ruined many a chance at some seriously saucy fun.
Check yourself on this. See if you are doing any of these in your relationship (wither committed or casual):
- Allowing her to make all the decisions, i.e. following
- Changing your schedule to fit hers.
- Spending your days thinking about and doing little things for her with no reciprocity.
- Being at her beck and call.
- Changing your behavior to fit in to her desired patterns.
If you find yourself doing things like this, you may be Wussifried!
You may be saying to yourself, “But self, you do these things because you loooooove her.” That may be true. And in certain cases and situations, these may be very honorable things to do. But only at the right times and in the right situations!
If you do these things over and over, you may be sabotaging yourself.
By doing any and/or all of these things, you are not coming across as a strong MAN. You are giving away your power and losing her respect quickly. This is happening because you are not valuing yourself or your time. And your time is one of your most valuable assets. It is also something that you are in total control of.
By valuing your time, you are in control of yourself and the situations that surround you. You have the power of saying “no.” "No" to not leading. "No" to being a malleable little toady. "No" to being Wussifried.
Taking control of your schedule shows that you value yourself. A MAN who values himself demonstrates confidence. If you are having self esteem issues, learning to spend time alone can help you increase your confidence and learn to truly value yourself. Women will value what you value. Value YOU.
When I was at my lowest and trying to turn my life around. It was very difficult to spend time alone. I HATED it. I would have the radio going all day long just to fend off the smothering quiet of loneliness. It sucked. And I was not in a state of true confidence. Eventually, as I regained my self esteem, I decided to spend some quality time with myself. It came in the form of a road trip. I spent days alone driving up the PCH heading up to Washington and back.
The key take away from the trip was that I learned to be alone, but not lonely.
I found that I was worthy of true value and that my time mattered. I was okay with who I was and that meant others would have to be too. I took control.
From that day on, I paid more attention to who I was being when it came to women. Was I valuing my time? But more importantly, were THEY valuing my time. If they were not, they did not respect me and the relationship was going nowhere.
I did not have time for that BS.
So MAN up, say “No” when needed and do not allow your time to be devalued by anyone. Spend some quality time alone in your own company, not because you have to but because you want to. You are worth it.
You only have so much time on this Earth. Use it wisely, my MAN.
Keep Spicin' It Up!