Courage

Time to Get Your Dating Google On

Welcome to the internet age. Everything you could possibly want to know is right there at your finger tips. You wanna learn how to cook the perfect steak? Boom! There it is. You wanna know where in the hell Wagga Wagga Australia is? Pow! Easy as pie. You wanna know if the girl you are about to date is a freak of nature who just might bludgeon you to death in your sleep with her hard cover copy of Gone Girl? Kablammo! A few clicks and the knowledge that just might save your life could be right there for your stern perusal.

Isn’t this a great time to be alive?!? You are awash in absurd amounts of data. Every day, the web grows more and more intense and acquires more data. So, in one sense, it is a great tool to help you accomplish more than you ever thought possible. But on the other hand, it is also a sponge that never releases the juicy tidbits of information that it absorbs. That means that…

The internet holds on to every stupid, foolish, drunken, misinformed, and otherwise dumbass thing you have every posted, tweeted, or Youtubed!

kimberly-spencer-spike-spencer-online

Yes, the great thing about the internet is that everyone now has a voice and can be heard across the globe. The bad thing about the internet is that everyone now has a voice and can be heard across the globe andthey say whatever idiotic thing they want. Being in the spotlight, somewhat, I have seen firsthand what the internet can do to you. I do have quite a bit of info out there on me. Some really great, like, “Spike Spencer is a frickin rock star!” And some not so great like, “Spike Spencer should rot in a corner and die of dick cancer.” Mmmm, sweetness and love.

The point is anyone can say anything about anyone and it will be registered and broadcast for the world to see. And unless you actively search out what is being said about you, you may never know that some random jackball out there in the ether may be destroying your chances with women.

Think about it this way, have you ever done a search for, say, a restaurant? You looked up the Yelp ratings, maybe a chowhound review, etc. What you found will undoubtedly influence your decisions. We are so conditioned that if we see a star rating, we unconsciously judge whatever is being rated according to a random rating system. One star, bad, five stars, good.

So what rating are you getting when the woman you have attracted Googles you? And believe me she will. We all do it nowadays. If you are checking her out, you can bet she is certainly checking up on you.

You need to be sure that you are being represented in a good light in the online world.

So, how do you do that?

1. Google yourself...on all search sites.

Don’t forget about Yahoo, Bing, etc. Hit them all. That is the quickest way to see what she will see. And don’t just look at the first few pages. That drunken pic of you in the lime green mankini with the llama can show up in later pages. If you get in contact with the original site providers, you may be able to get the silly stuff removed.

If you want to get really serious, you can look at some of the information brokers that deal in finding people and providing juicy details about their lives like background checks and more. Check out Intelius, Spokeo, Wiki, etc. It will cost a bit, but it may be well worth it to clear up some negative junk out there.

2. Check on Youtube and Vimeo.

You never know who might have filmed you spouting random dumbassery at a kegger. I personally have had some success with getting some videos removed from some of my less than flattering misadventures. But not to worry, there’s still plenty of entertaining escapades for your consideration to enjoy.

So get out there on the web and check out what is being said, tweeted, posted, tubed, instagrammed, pinterated, vimeoed, tumblered, wikied, blogged, wordpressed, and every other blabby, gossipy, and otherwise completely detrimental misrepresentation of the awesomeness that is you. You may not like what you see. And neither will she.

Just like it can take only one bad review to destroy a business, one bad mention of you can wreck your chances of a possible romance. Luckily, forewarned is forearmed. Once you get the lowdown, you can do some housecleaning and sculpt your online profile in the best light possible. And maybe, just maybe, you can remove that one review of you that will turn her away.

Happy Hunting.

 

Preparing for Your "Worst Fear"

Do you live your life in a constant state of worry? Are you restrained in accomplishing the things you want in life and love, because you are scared of what might go wrong?

That is no way to live, my friend. You cannot succeed in life without taking some chances. You take them every day. Do you have any idea how dangerous driving in your car can be? Imagine what possible death dealers are in the food you eat? Thousands of people die each year because of these two ordinary activities alone. You take risks just getting out of bed.

Scary, ain’t it?

You still drive around, radio blastin', chomping on a burger, or even chatting on the phone (which is a huge no-no!). You go to a store, purchase food produced in places you do not know, packed by people you will never meet, under God knows what conditions. Then you shove that stuff right in your face. You wild thing, you!

Imagine how dangerous your every day decisions are for a moment. I mean, really think.

We put our lives in the hands of others every day. We have faith that they are doing the right things, just like us, observing safety standards, paying attention, and being basically good human beings. For the most part, I believe, people are doing these things. The fact that you are reading this now and not 6 feet under attests to that.

With all this actual possibility of danger facing you every day, why in the hell are you not taking chances in your relationships that will most certainly not kill you? Asking a woman out is not a dangerous proposition.

I would dare to suggest that no man in history has ever died because a woman said no to his polite advances.

You make business decisions every day that will affect you, of course, but very rarely will there be any actual loss of life involved; loss of money, standing, or influence, sure. But all of these things can be dealt with and regained, if lost.

Instead of fearing the bad things that might happen; imagine all the amazing things that can.

What if she says “Yes”? What if your decisions turn out brilliant and you make tons of money? Focus on the positive possibilities and prepare for great things.

Conversely, face the possibility of the absolute worst thing that can happen in any situation. Don’t shy away, really look at it. Shine a great big light on any bad things and take away their power over you. If you know what might happen, you can prepare. If you are already fortified against the worst, it will no longer frighten you.

Face your fear, plan, and if, God forbid, the worst happens, and everything you touch turns to shit; it will not destroy you. You are ready for the worst case scenario and you will live through it.

Knowing that you have power over the negative things that might (possibly) happen, you can focus on all the great things that can come out of all the non “death defying” choices you make every day.

So go bravely on, my friend and say howdy to that cute little number you’ve been dying to talk to, because now you know, no matter what, it won’t kill you.

Go On, Be Strong!