Is Your Focus Killing Your Dating Life...Squirrel!

It seems to be that every successful person in any field claims that focus is the main thing that sets them apart from the crowd. The ability to be “present” in the moment and devote all your senses, thoughts, and direction to one deed, one project, one goal is the key to success in any endeavor.

But is that actually true? You bet your ass it is.

Sadly, in our ever increasingly hectic world, it’s getting harder and harder to do. At any given time you are probably juggling at least ten different significant tasks or projects, not to mention the thousands of errant thoughts that glide in and out of youroverloaded cranium.

What does this have to do with dating? Well, everything actually.

If you are constantly at the whim of unfinished projects and incomplete thought processes you will be in a constant state of “catch up.” You will feel that there is always something else you have to do, you may even find yourself stuck with that uneasy feeling that you have forgotten to do something, but whaaaaaat?

When you put yourself in this position, many things suffer.

The biggest casualty is your ability to chill. If you are constantly in that catch up mindset, you are sometimes literally running to catch up – with deadlines, things you may have procrastinated on, maybe even forgetting things that are important for your dates and relationships.

This makes you tense and hectic. This is not an attractive place to be. Stress ain’t sexy.

You have to recognize when you are out of sorts and take your control back. How? Here’s a few quick tips on how to focus better.

Take stock.

Make a list of all the things you need to do, some say do this at night as a brain dump, some say first thing in the morning. I say have a running list going at any given time. Have a note pad nearby and jot down things as they come to you. After all, if you do it all at once, do you think you will remember every little thing? Probably not.


Set up a time frame for each area you must tackle. I like the 50 minutes per task with a 10 minute stretch in between concept. (I learned this from Eben Pagan, btw. You might know him by his dating pseudonym, David DeAngelo) When I institute these focus sessions and stick to only ONE project during that time, I get a pantload more work done. Good focused work. And the work is much better. I actually use a timer, so I do not get distracted.


What MUST get done first? Pick the most important and DO them. Get them out of the way. No procrastination. My pick is for what makes me money now! That is what I focus on right out of the gate. Then come the projects with more deferred reward, then passion projects, etc. This way, you get the stuff done first that will pay for the fabulous food with which you will be impressing your dates.

Always leave early.

When you are running late, you will be tense and reckless. This is when accidents happen. This is, again, not an attractive place for you. Especially if you are with a date or girlfriend. It’s the stressful times like these that will lead to you snapping at her out of anger. This you do not want. Bad juju. When you have plenty of time, you will be relaxed. If there’s a traffic snarl, no biggie. You just crank up the radio and sing at the top of your lungs like an awesome crazy person.

Now that you have taken hold of that massive amount of brain clutter that bombards you every day, you can now be present in the task at hand. Whatever that task is. When you carve out the time you need to get the important things done and focus solely on that one thing, you will truly be amazed at what you can accomplish.

This puts you in a strong leadership position, the director of your own life. You have a destination, you are productive. In short, you are a MAN that gets shit done! Calmly, coolly, with a quiet strength that is indeed very attractive, my friend.

Keep Spicin It Up!