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“Don’t Kill Your Date™ Founder Spike Spencer Cooks Up Resources to Educate & Entertain Active Daters” 10/2/18

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“Spike Spencer wears a lot of different hats in his life. He’s a professional consultant and public speaker. He has worked as a voice actor and real estate investor. He developed dynamic online dating and cooking resources on Don’t Kill Your Date (and Other Cooking Tips). He has also been a spokesperson for Fortune 500 companies. However, his most important role is as a father to Declan Spencer.

Recently, a Netflix docu-series called “Chicken Soup for the Soul’s Being Dad” featured Spike’s unexpected journey to fatherhood in his 40s. Spike married Kimberly MacKenzie in 2014 and became a father on July 28, 2017. His wife is 19 years younger than he is, so he brings a unique perspective to falling in love and starting a family later in life.”


How to unlock the adventurer in you

"No matter who you are, what you look like, or where you find yourself in the financial world, you can be adventurous. You have to make it an internal thing. It has to become a part of who you are, not what you do." (Read more)


The first thing Spike Spencer made for his now-wife, Kim, when they started dating was cassoulet, a French stew that’s typically made with meat and beans. This humble yet impressive dish not only satisfied her gluten-free diet, but it was also one of the reasons why he won her over. She loved the fact that he could cook. But Spike wasn’t always so successful in the kitchen. (Read more.)

The slow cooker: Your Dating Secret Weapon

"Cooking for your date is an amazing way to showcase your manly prowess. It demonstrates caring, concern, and attention to detail. Not to mention tasty tasty goodness. But who has time for cooking these days? Well, you, that’s who! I have shared with you many secrets on how to look like a genius in the kitchen with as little effort and money as possible. And I am sure you have utilized some of them to great success on your hot date nights." (Read more.)

Confidence - part I - expectation

"Confidence must be earned. It must be rooted deep inside, and programmed into our very core. Sadly, there is no quick way to fix something that has been hammered into you over years. There are many roads to confidence, and the brutal truth is, that road is different for each of us. But the answer, my friends, lies in the search!" (Read more)


"'Though I recommend, remaining on your knees and not going into full plank...unless you want to get a double workout, or you have superhuman upper body strength," adds her husband, Spike Spencer,  recently featured in USA Today and Men's Health, internationally known for his dating advice.'" (Read more.)


"Now you see those summer travel deals. Now you don't. Spike Spencer knows what that's like. He just tried to book a four-night tour online from Icelandair, advertised at $1,073, including flights. But as soon as he selected his vacation, the price jumped to $2,600." (Read more.)

What to do when she doesn't like you back

"The simple answer: nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. The big goose egg. Stop pursuing her immediately! Yes, you! The guy one pair of binoculars away from stalker-dom. If she is not into you, then anything you do at this point will only push her further away." (Read more)


"If you want her number, ask for it. But earn it first. Make her comfortable, make her laugh, whatever. Just follow through. And if she declines; smile, be polite and say, “no worries, have a great day.” And move on! There’s a multitude of reasons she said no and, unless you feel very strongly that she is simply testing you and there is actual interest on her part, just head on down the road." (Read more)


"When you are online dating, you only have 2 mediums to work with: pictures and writing. The pictures we have dealt with – make them good quality, be shown doing cool things with others, and for God’s sake, smile. No selfies, no shirtless, and no creepy faces, etc. Shots of your junk are completely Verboten! Then you have the other medium to deal with, writing." (Read more.)

DUDE, WHERE'S MY MOJO? how to go from date 1 to date 3

"The part that’s missing is the 'head game.' You have to be in control of what’s between your ears before you can go to bat with what’s between your legs. If you’re stuck with nothing to say after your initial pickup, or at a loss after a date or three, you simply have more work to do." (Read more.)


"Every one of us who have ever looked for love in any way is guilty of one common thing: Desire. And that desire can be an incredibly over-powering thing. It can take us to a wonderfully strong place where we are focused, full of light and love; or it can take us to a place that is dark, desperate, and full of disappointment (and apparently, alliteration…). Which way the feeling takes you is completely up to you." (Read more.)

Kaizen: tHE art of confidence with women

"The concept of “Kai Zen” is based on a Japanese philosophy of constant and never ending improvement, always learning and striving to be better. Broken down, Kai Zen literally means 'constant improvement.'" (Read more.)

Know How You Are Being Presented

"When you are starting a new business, you have to be aware of all aspects of the machinery of said business. There is marketing, sales, branding, meetings, advertising, etc. to deal with. You take the time to conduct your business in the most profitable way you can to achieve the highest and best results. So why should your internet dating “business” be any different?" (Read more.)


"The problem is not that men are intentionally indecisive; it’s that they are clueless about what they are doing. Most guys defer the decisions to their lady, because they think that is what their woman want. They think it makes her feel empowered. They think it shows they are equal in their partnership." (Read more)

last minute sexy food

"We all have busy lives. Just because you may be single does not mean that you have so much more free time than a married couple with a family of four. Although, chances are, that you really, really do. Regardless, sometimes we all find ourselves ill prepared for a date night at home. You did promise her a nice home cooked meal after all. You could always try to pass off takeout as your own concoction. But that is cheating, and it can be expensive. So what do you do? You whip up some last minute sexy food!" (Read more.)

Food game (aka the rhubarb sarge): HOW TO USE COOKING TO UP YOUR GAME

"We’ve all heard the old line about the fastest way to a man’s heart being through his stomach. I’m here to tell you that it can definitely work the other way around as well. Ladies love food. Besides that obligatory first date or two when they may just politely nibble roughage like a timid little bunny, once they are comfortable with you, they can really hoark it down. This is definitely something of which you should be taking full advantage." (Read more.)


"We all want to be sexy. We are inundated every day with all the things corporations tell us will make us sexy. This body spray will turn you into a sex magnet. That sparkling soda will make pants fly right off! Drive this car and women will jump head first in to your lap sans inhibitions and panties. Well, as you know, most of that is complete crap. It’s not about what you wear, drink, or drive. It’s about who you are as a man." (Read more.)

Confidence - Part III - Boundaries

"Have you ever thought about someone and realized, you always know where they stand? They say what they mean and they follow through with what they say they will do. This is a person that elicits trust and respect from others. They are, in essence, a “No Bullshit” kind of person. This person understands and utilizes their boundaries in a very solid and strong way, from a position of inner strength." (Read more.)


"Food is my medium of choice for the dating milieu and it should definitely be one of your tools if you ever plan on entertaining a date in a way that is far beyond the normal, predictable, and boring dinner date.  Cooking a meal is much more personal.  It shows a certain suave recognition of social intricacies, a knowledge of the art and science of seduction.  Entertaining privately takes skill and confidence, which are two very attractive attributes." (Read more.)


"We’ve all been there – Heartbreak City. There are a thousand ways we visit, and to varying degrees of heartache. Sometimes it’s a slight funk that takes a few weeks to get over. Sometimes it is a life destroying, soul sucking, flaming roller-coaster ride through Hell. I have the dubious and unfortunate honor to have lived through the latter, which as fate would have it, makes me a bit of an expert on the subject." (Read more.)

14 Weird Dating Practices from Around the World

The dating world is a pretty strange place. And that is just in your own personal dating arena. I’m sure you have plenty of crazy stories to share with your friends. But I doubt any of them will compare to the weird and interesting modern and ancient crazy courtship rituals I scoured from around the interwebs. So, here are…(Read more.)

confidence - part iv - chill

"There is something very intoxicating in stillness. There is a surety, a serenity, and a suspicion of power. There is something very attractive and sexy about it as well. So much strength lies in being able to control your impulses and be the unflappable center of the chaos around you, unaffected by it, above it, yet completely aware of all that is happening. So, when in doubt, Chill…" (Read more.)


"Be smoooove like Billy Dee Williams.  Lando Calrissian, for good or bad, he was always cool, calm, and sexy.  Han may have the rough edged bad boy thing down, but I guarantee, if he wasn’t around, Princess Leia would have popped open more than just a cold can of Colt 45 with that rascally vagabond." (Read more.)

confidence - part v - Presentation

"Whether you are just beginning your quest for personal success in the dating arena or a seasoned veteran, it is always a good idea to take a long hard look at yourself and see how others perceive you. Are you projecting the image of yourself that you intend? This image is incredibly important for success in your life, and especially with women." (Read more.)



"First of all, let me say, I am sorry.  If you were drawn to this post, there is a very good chance you are in a world of hurt right now.  Or will be soon.  I have been there.  That is why I chose to write this post this month.  I hope that my words will be able to help you through a very difficult time in your life, perhaps the lowest point, as was my case." (Read more.)

confidence - part vi - sexy time

"Other than a lack of self-confidence, few things will turn a woman off faster than a man who has no clue what he is doing in the bedroom. Sex is a subject in which you, as a MAN, need to be well versed. Especially in a long term relationship that can tend to grow stale over time. Having strong sexual skills from the very start can get you, and keep you, a happy and healthy love life. The problem is, who’s teaching us?" (Read more.)


"We have a schizophrenic problem in the dating world these days and the blame rests on both sides of the sexual aisle.  On the ladies side, we have the ever present “Bad Boy” syndrome and the fellas have “commitment issues”.  I think I have a solution for both viewpoints that will take a very long time to implement and possibly even longer to explain. But since I only have a short article for you here, I will attempt to be concise and give you a taste." (Read more.)

confidence - part vii - be impeccable

"In life, we hold people accountable for the things they say and the things they do. So why do some people think love is any different? People say things like, 'All’s fair in love and war.' Stand out far and above people who hold these views; the wannabees who think they have to lie to a woman to get her to want them, to act like someone they are not."  (Read more.)


"One of the things I preach to attendees of my “Don’t Kill Your Date (and Other Cooking Tips)” training panels, is that you must get yourself in shape in order to be the kind of MAN that attracts the kind of women you actually want. AKA, do a frickin pushup! I’m not saying that you have to look like Brad Pitt or The Hulk to be an attractive fella, but there is something very real that happens when you look and feel healthy." (Read more.)

confidence - part viii -belief

"Are you the kind of guy that deserves a hot woman in his life? Or several? Are you a “one in a million” guy? A catch? Do you know without a doubt that you can spend time with any woman and be comfortable? Can you be certain that you can please your woman and make her feel a strong attraction to you? Do you enter a room and walk with pride, not worrying what others think about you?" (Read more.)


"There are only 2 things that sell you in your online dating life; your pictures and your profile. You spent the money to get some nice pictures done, or at the very least, you had a friend take a lot of shots making you look as attractive as possible. But what have you done to improve your profile?" (Read more.)


"Why do you not have the level of success with women that you want right now? You go out, make approaches, open sets, and use all the right lines. You have the right body language, know just the right amount of eye contact to hold, and you generally feel pretty damn good about yourself. So why are you not swimming in women? Well, to be perfectly candid, who cares!?! That is the wrong way to look at it."(Read more.)


"We have so much online information bombarding us every day now. Along with all of that info, we have an incredibly massive probability of miscommunication. Mistakes happen continually on TV, radio, and newspapers. Much of what we see, read, or hear is factually incorrect in some way. Now imagine what can be misinterpreted or misconstrued in completely non fact-checked dating profiles." (Read more.)


"Winston Churchill said it best, 'Never, never, never, never give up.' That is some of the best advice you will ever hear. In any facet of your life, it fits, especially in the dating world. That is, until you find the right woman for you. Then, never give up learning how to keep her, and yourself, happy. But till then, never give up in your dating journey. That is what is known as tenacity."(Read more.)



Dating is a taxing proposition. It can be fun, rewarding, and enjoyable or it can be scary, frustrating, and hollow. You never know what you are going to get. And that uncertainty can be a very sore spot indeed. Especially around the silly season; the Holidays. Christmas is the time of the year when families get together. And when those with significant others give and receive extra love and gifts. It also has the highest suicide rates of the year. Cheery, huh? (Read more.)

always take the shot

"People out there that are afraid of each other. Scared of what others may think about us, what they may tell others, or even what they might do to us. It is time for us to take back control of our lives! Now that we are being watched 24/7 through the internet, street cameras, and everyone and their dog having a smartphone to capture us picking our nose and/or butts (preferably in that order) and immediately posting it on YouTube or Facebook for everyone to see, thus making us an internet laughingstock. So what are we supposed to do in order to stay off the world’s embarrassment radars?" (Read more.)


"So you’ve created a killer online profile. You are working the sites like an evil genius. Any woman that comes across the intriguing and amazing escapades you have listed will be intensely attracted, contacting you immediately. Well, of course, it’s not normally that easy, but it sounds good right? It sounds good, because there is a grain of truth in this. Women are attracted to excitement, adventure, and emotionally stimulating experiences. If your profile is lacking in these things, you are far less likely to be contacted or have your messages responded to. Boredom is not an option!" (Read more.)

Morning After Recipes

"So, things went very well last night. You are both happy, relaxed, and hopefully, famished. Your culinary prowess was in full swing and she was oh so impressed. And when you follow up with one of these tasty morning repasts, she will undoubtedly realize that you are one serious fella, and she will like it indeed! Here are 3 easy and sumptuous morning after recipes." (Read more.)


"Fellas, I am going to save you a lot of time and a lot of headache.  When you are interested in getting to know a woman better, don’t be wishy-washy about it.  If you want to ask her out on a date, then do it!  Be clear about your intentions from the start.  Trust me, she already knows what you want, so there is no need for obfuscation here.   And this is where most men screw it up, right at the beginning." (Read more.)

men don't text, men call

"Ain’t technology grand? There is more computing power in an iPod than in all the tech that got us to the moon and back. We can connect instantly with anyone almost any place on the planet. We have virtually unlimited access to all of the information known to mankind. We know more about the lives of our friends than ever before. Digital communication has become incredibly easy, and that is a big problem. It has become so easy that we are forgetting the lost art of actually talking to one another." (Read more.)


"Just because you feel a certain way or see a situation in one way, does not mean that your intended object of affection feels or sees the situation similarly.  And this goes double for online dating.  When you are communicating face to face, you can see all the things that aren’t being vocally shared; the body language, the sarcasm, the subtext in the way messages are being delivered, but online, in text, emails, you do not have the luxury of full disclosure.  That leaves a LOT of room for misunderstandings." (Read more.)

5 Quick and Easy Date Dishes

Okay, so you’ve taken my advice and you’ve started to cook for your dates. Good for you! And, let me guess, you have now been exposed to an avalanche of Foodie TV, publications, recipes, and general mayhem. You are confused and stressed over all this new knowledge you have to possess. You are busy and do not want to have to deal with so much new information. I understand completely. But I do know that you can do amazing things with a little knowledge and a few ingredients that will blow your date’s mind. So let me help you out..." (Read more.)


"Is there such a thing as a soulmate? Yes. Well, that’s good news. But here’s even better news. There is not just one lonely soul out there waiting to find you. There are thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands that will fit the bill for what you believe may be your soulmate. But how can this be?!?" (Read more.)


"Once you get the initial pleasantries out of the way, the next step is almost always the same. The official dinner date. For this I recommend a recipe for dating success. Here is how it goes. You already know there is a connection. You have met and yes indeed, she does look like her profile picture. Hooray! Now it is time for you to step up and do something interesting and different from all the other shmoes out there. It’s time for you to COOK dinner. Cooking is one of the most impressive weapons you can put on your Dating Utility Belt. If you don’t know how, it’s time to learn to cook." (Read more)


"We have a serious love-hate relationship happening on this planet. Communication is easy, immediate, and much more complex. We interact instantly with exponentially more people than ever before, yet on a far less personal level. Estimates say over 70% of singles have an online dating profile of some kind or have tried it at least once. But have you ever considered this- SHOULD you have one too? Have you done enough emotional preparation to have an online dating profile? (Read more.)